We live in a polarized and intensely argumentative time in history. Social media, short-form communication with no face-to-face interaction, the political environment, the hunger for more online clicks, and divided perspectives are making it hard to have spiritual conversations with people who have a different outlook than Christians.
Some of Jesus’ people have adopted a highly combative posture when they interact with nonbelievers. Other Christians have decided the best thing to do is keep their mouth shut and let their lifestyle do the talking. They fear that sharing their faith verbally will cause tension, and they don’t want to rock the relational boat. To be clear, it is great and essential to have a life that reflects the grace and presence of Jesus, but faith still comes by hearing.
Jesus is the Prince of Peace. As his disciples, we are called to be like our Lord. This means that when we show up, the peace of God should arrive with us. We are to love like Jesus, live like Jesus, look like Jesus. With this in mind, I ask a simple and important question. Are you a peaceful gospel presence? As you walk through life, do you bring a calming and gracious spirit because Jesus is leading you?
Too often Christians see evangelism as a battle. On the deepest spiritual level, when we share the truth and message of Jesus it is a declaration of war. But we do not need to be contentious and argumentative. We can be kind and grace-filled even when we disagree with others and offer them a whole new worldview. A gentle spirit and peaceful temperament open a lot of doors for us to share the good news of Jesus.
Here are five important components that can help you be a peaceful presence of Jesus while you are seeking to share your faith and shine the light of Jesus.
- Ask Questions.
Before you begin talking about yourself, your life or your faith, ask others their story. A simple question like, “What’s your story?” can open a lot of doors to conversation. Asking something like, “What is one joy you are experiencing?” or “What is a challenge you are facing in your life?” are very open-ended and allow people to share their experiences ranging across a wide emotional and life spectrum.
“What are you learning these days?” is another question that people don’t often hear but love to answer. Everyone is learning something.
“Could you tell me about your family background?” opens the way for pictures of family members or brutally honest sharing about loss or present family struggles.
Asking a question says, You matter. Your life is interesting. I care about your story.
Once asking questions and listening well becomes natural, commit to ask even more questions. A dear friend and ministry partner of mine teaches people to always follow up a person’s answer with at least three more questions. This allows you to listen, get to know them, and quietly pray for them in your heart as you are listening.
- Practice Humble Boldness.
Watch your tone. Be gentle. Express your words and beliefs with humility. It is fine to be bold and confident, but pray for humility in how you express your convictions. Don’t berate or mock, but let humility shine through. Notice in 1 Peter 3:15 we are called to explain our faith, but there are two key words to guide us as we do this: gentleness and respect.
It is possible to be assured of what you believe and be uncompromising and still communicate with humility. It is not only possible; it is the way of Jesus.
- Don’t Try to Win.
Conversations become contentious when we set up a win/lose scenario. We can win a debate and lose the person. Let your goal be sharing what you believe, how Jesus has changed your life, the joy of the gospel, and watch God do what you can’t. Hold back any personal drive to feel like you have crushed an opponent rather than shared truth with a potential new friend and maybe even an eventual brother or sister in Christ.
The final victory that God wants to win is seeing people confess their sin, receive Jesus and take his hand as a devoted and joy-filled follower of the Savior. Our objective is not proving people wrong but showing that Jesus is alive and loves them. Our call is not to win a debate, but to participate with the Holy Spirit in sharing the best news in the history of the world.
- Tell Stories.
People love stories. The more real, raw and honest the story, the more powerful it seems to be. With this in mind, make a point of organically sharing your stories of God’s power, presence, protection and provision in your life. Did you catch the four “P” words? This is a simple pneumonic device to help you remember the kind of stories people love to hear.
As you interact with people who don’t know God is real and personal, your stories of God coming near in a hard time can have great impact. When you talk about a time you were in great need and God provided in a surprising way, people wonder if that same God might help them in times of struggle. When you share that you were all alone and on the ragged edge and God showed up and brought hope and strength, people become curious if there is help for them.
And as you are telling stories, as the Holy Spirit leads, tell his story. Share the good news that there is a God who made and loves them more than they know. Articulate that we have all wandered away from God and live as rebels (sin) and that we can’t find our way back home to him in our own power. Then, share how Jesus left heaven, came among us and died on the cross in our place to wipe away all of our wrongs. Finally, share that when Jesus rose and won the final battle, he secured a place for us in heaven and in his heart. He invites each of us to confess our sin and let him save us and to confess our allegiance and let him lead our life.
- Pray.
No matter how clear we are and no matter how gracious we might be, every single one of us lacks the power needed to crack open hard hearts and break down spiritual barriers. Only God, through the power of his Holy Spirit can do this. So, pray while you are asking questions. Pray for an authentically humble heart. Pray for a noncombative spirit. Pray for the right words as you tell your stories and his story. Then trust God to show up and work in powerful ways.
The fact that you are having a spiritual conversation is already a kingdom win. When you bathe every interaction in prayer, the power of heaven is unleashed and God will move and do what you could never accomplish. Then he gets the glory. Be a peaceful presence and watch as the Prince of Peace shows up and reveals himself in glorious and powerful ways.
Kevin Harney is the teaching pastor of Shoreline Community Church in Monterey, California, and the president and co-founder of Organic Outreach International. For more: OutreachMagazine.com/Kevin-Harney