Intergenerational mentoring is reshaping how we view the relationship between Gen Z and older mentors. According to a survey by OnePoll, 81% of Gen Z believe they are qualified to write self-help books—a statistic that might initially spark skepticism. It takes a certain audacity to believe one can solve the complexities of the human condition. As Alfred Lubano noted in The Philadelphia Inquirer, such a proclamation suggests you are enlightened enough to fix what plagues everyone else. He aptly calls this “chutzpah.”
To put this in perspective, Generation Z typically includes those between the ages of 12 and 27. When compared to other demographics, only 47% of all Americans share this level of self-confidence. Specifically, 48% of Millennials (ages 28–43) and just 28% of Boomers (ages 60–78) would dare to author a self-help guide. There is an obvious observation to be made here: the longer you live, the more you realize how much you have yet to learn, often leading to a more cautious approach toward imparting wisdom.
Even those who have gained significant life experience are often the most hesitant to position themselves as authorities. For instance, one woman who authored a book at age 82 regarding her journey with an eating disorder remarked that she couldn’t write it until she was certain it wasn’t driven by ego. This humility is the cornerstone of effective intergenerational mentoring, where the goal is to share traction in the “wisdom category” without the pretense of having all the answers.
When broadened out to all Americans, only 47% have that level of self-confidence and sense of having arrived in life. Only 48% of Millennials would dare to take on such a task (ages 28-43), and just 28% of Boomers (ages 60 to 78).
Let’s make the obvious observation: The longer you live, the less you think you know what nobody else seems to know. The less wisdom you feel you may have to impart on others. And even if you feel you have gained some traction in the wisdom category, the less likely you are to take it upon yourself to be its bearer. As one woman who wrote a book at the age of 82 on conquering an eating disorder offered, “I couldn’t write the book until I’d gotten into the topic sufficiently to convince myself it wasn’t just sheer ego powering me to write.”
May her tribe increase.
On the other hand, the younger you are, the more you feel you have much to say about how to live life, and therefore are the one to tell others.
This may be the result of being raised on social media, where “influencers” are the new rockstars, and offering up advice and opinion is central to the appeal. An example would be Texas writer Keila Shaheen who has published a best-selling mental health guide at the ripe old age of 24.
There is also the eternal hubris of youth, feeling like you are the first generation to understand anything about everything. It seems everywhere you turn on Instagram or TikTok, you find another post on what you should eat, how you should exercise, how to decorate, and almost always from someone who is on the younger side of things.
Yet it can be comical hearing twentysomethings opining on all things parenting, finance, health and, yes, spirituality, as if they were the first to ever experience or ponder such matters. At least to those who have lived long enough to know just how little you really understand about such things while in your twenties.
This isn’t meant to be condescending.
But it is concerning that those who actually do have wisdom born of experience are hesitant to share it, and those who do not are guileless about offering it. Further, that those who are younger feel more comfortable taking advice from peers instead of those who are older and more seasoned (put another way: from someone who has actually done something, over time, with success). That kind of generational separation is debilitating on so many fronts, not the least of which is spiritually.
Perhaps we don’t need self-help books at all. As one psychologist offered, “I don’t think self-help books are all that helpful, because if they were, I’d be out of business.”
So to all you Gen Zers out there, maybe what you need isn’t some help from a peer, or to take it upon yourself to offer help to others. Yes, you have access to almost unlimited information. But what you don’t have access to (and it’s not your fault) is wisdom. But you can get it through some good old-fashioned intergenerational mentoring.
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This article originally appeared on ChurchAndCulture.org.