Second, we must listen, listen, listen. Scripture is very clear that we should to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger (James 1:19). When those in our congregations have serious questions, we must never dismissively wave off their concerns in short gestures.
God is still at work in those questions, and our churches must be places where any person can openly share where he or she is at when it comes to our theology and the intersection of culture. By listening to them, we can be a part of the journey, but we drive people away if we refuse to listen.
That does not mean we will always agree, but it does mean we can learn more.
Third, we can disagree without hating others. Many of us are fearful of those both inside our churches and outside our churches who think and believe differently on a number of issues. We cringe as we try to prepare a response to those on “the other” side of the line when it comes to gender, politics, race, etc.
This isn’t surprising—some issues today are so polarizing that it becomes hard for people on either side to believe we can all be faithfully following Christ amid a particular disagreement. And, of course, this is part of why I wrote, Christians in the Age of Outrage. But, my dialogues with Rachel often forced me to do what I was writing about—which wasn’t always so easy.
As evangelicals, we can respond better when our brothers and sisters have serious doubts and ultimately end up on the other side of the line on certain issues. We must do better. J.R.R. Tolkien, one who believed differently than me on many theological issues, once said, “Not all those who wander are lost.”
This, I believe.
Yes, Rachel Held Evans stirred the evangelical pot in ways that were uncomfortable and distressing. However, for me, she made me think and she made me better. She pointed out my logical fallacies and forced me to defend my assumptions. And when she appreciated something, she said it. She was always looking for the good in people, and didn’t hold back when she found it.
As I remember her, those direct messages sometimes made me smile, but at times made me think I should have been more charitable. (Even in her death, she made me evaluate myself. Interesting.)
But, her exit from evangelicalism had the power to do one of two things: It could make us mad (and, wow, she made some people mad) or it could make us better.
Ironically, that’s what Rachel said to me, and it’s part of what I take away from her life.
I’m thankful for many of the interactions we had, and I am a better person for having engaged with her.
This article originally appeared on The Exchange at Christianity Today.