It can be lonely at the top, but true leadership with others proves you were never meant to lead alone; effective leaders apprentice, lead small and large as they develop others.
There is truth to that concept, but it’s more about decision-making, weight of leadership and responsibility. It’s not actually or literally about being alone—Practical servant-leadership qualities and how humility builds leadership collaboration remind us that leadership is shared.
We were never designed to lead alone; real-life examples like a church merger for unity and service and bilingual church unity in action show how collaboration strengthens ministry.
It’s common for pastors and leaders in general, to attempt to lead from isolation. Candidly it’s easier to lead alone in the short term, but it’s never a good idea. The truth is, you can lead from isolation, just not long and not well.
Leading from a disposition of isolation stems from several possible factors. It’s not likely that any leader would experience all of them, but the more you are tempted to lean into these the more dangerous it becomes.
Which ones tempt you? Identify and resist them!
7 Deceptive Temptations to Lead Alone
1. The misconception that it saves time
We all want to save time and it’s faster to do something yourself. But that’s only really true if you will never repeat it, or your church never grows larger.
If your church grows you need others to help you lead, and it’s necessary to be developing those leaders before you need them.
It takes longer to equip and develop people than doing it yourself, but in the long run leading with others is the better choice, and that multiplies your time!
2. The false belief that it can protect you from being hurt
If you have served in ministry for any length of time, you’ve been hurt. It comes with the territory. Not the kind of overwhelming hurt where you no longer trust others, but you were wounded at a heart level in a way that causes you to be wary.
We work with people and it’s common to be disappointed, and unfortunately even betrayed on occasion. Thankfully the later is much less common. When that happens leaders naturally pull back. The better response is to forgive, move on, and stay close to people.
The self-protective walls that keep hurt at bay, are the same walls that keep love and support out as well.
3. The foolish notion that less accountability allows you go faster and accomplish more
There can be a great deal of freedom in ministry. It’s natural to lean into that freedom, which isn’t by itself a bad thing. But without intentional accountability, it’s easy to get in trouble.
Without the accountability that comes from authentic community and trusted teamwork, its easy for biblical values and convictions to slowly erode, especially under pressure. We need each other to lead well.
The practical problems begin in innocence, from not working a full week but perceiving you do, to more complex issues such as a skewed perspective because there is not enough conversation with other leaders on the team.
Accountability and genuine teamwork are critical for long term successful ministry.
4. The unhealthy idea that leading mostly alone fits your personal wiring better
God made leaders differently. Some are more introverted and some are more extroverted in their personality type. Some have type A drive and some have type B drive. Some are more creative and some more analytical.
There is no combination that is right or wrong. But there are some personality types whose personal wiring leans more toward seclusion than others.
If you are a leader that likes to think and study, and enjoys time alone planning, that’s good, but be careful about the temptation to allow more alone time than is wise. Be intentional about time with other leaders.
Mark time in your calendar for social, strategic, spiritual and developmental time with people.
5. The incorrect assumption that because your church is small you are forced to lead alone
A smaller church setting can make the temptation to lead alone more prominent.
If you are the pastor and the only staff member there is a lot of work that you carry yourself. Part of that is normal and the way it is. But there is so much that the people in your congregation can help you with.
Are you inviting them in?
Your volunteer leaders are a gift from God. Trust them, develop them and allow them to exercise the gifts God has given them.
Sometimes asking just one more person to help you is enough support and encouragement to keep going and make real progress. Do your best to not become overwhelmed with all the volunteers you’d like to have, and focus on just one more.
Never underestimate the value of one more new leader. That person can change your church in beautiful and impactful ways.
6. Self-given permission for a quiet addiction where hiding becomes a habit
When too little accountability and the lack of moral conviction from isolated thinking patterns becomes part of a lifestyle, hiding is often the dangerous next step.
Once we start hiding habits it’s difficult to break out of this pattern. This behavior is a form of justifying quiet addictions and eventually secret sins.
Genesis chapter 3 makes it clear that hiding is part of our sin nature. We want to cover up what we know is wrong. Admittedly, this is on the dramatic side of isolation, but it’s nonetheless a possibility for any leader.
Coming out of darkness into light requires confession and accountability. Do you need to talk with a trusted friend?