This may be a generational shift, but a growing sentiment suggests that leaders must always be “nice.” The prevailing theory is that to be effective, leaders must be overly friendly with their teams and cultivate an atmosphere where no one ever feels upset. However, this singular focus on being accommodating can often hinder effective leadership communication.
Reflecting on my career, the most impactful leaders I have worked with were not always perceived as nice. They were driven, passionate, and refused to accept mediocre results. Consequently, they did not hesitate to push their teams, even if it meant causing temporary discomfort. While challenging, it is important to distinguish this drive from the signs of unhealthy team communication.
These leaders prioritized excellence over pleasantries. Ultimately, discovering the keys to effective leadership communication involves a commitment to clarity and high standards rather than simply being agreeable.
In his amazing biography of the Apostle Paul, theologian N.T. Wright describes him as:
“Those who like their religion, or indeed their friendships served at medium temperature may find Paul’s personality hard to take: at once eager and vulnerable, both bold and (in his own words) “in your face” and then liable to serious self-doubt (“Was it all for nothing?”). One might suppose that, as a friend, he was, as we say, high maintenance, though the reward would be high performance.”
I’m not advocating that leaders be jerks, and there are times to be sensitive to the people around you, but I am advocating that if you’re serious about changing the world, stop walking around on eggshells. Stop being so worried about offending people. And stop excusing work that’s less than the best just to make people feel good.
Recently, writing in the Wall Street Journal, Callum Borchers put it this way:
“Hollering in the workplace is often inappropriate—and can cross the line into abusive territory—and many companies have sought to eradicate it. As of last fall, toxic work cultures carry an adverse-health warning from the U.S. Surgeon General. Some workers tell me they shut down when a manager turns up the decibels, whether the message is well-intended or not.
“But others say they’d rather get a tongue lashing and move on than deal with a boss who is passive aggressive and resurrects previously unmentioned transgressions long after the fact. Like a fiery politician or coach, a manager who yells can appear committed. Executives are often under pressure and, in the eyes of some employees, can be forgiven for losing their cool—especially if their criticisms are valid and they apologize for blowing up.”
And if you’re working for one of those hard-driven leaders, look at the big picture. What can you learn if you can rise above your occasional hurt feelings? What is he or she accomplishing? Suck it up. Focus less on you and more on the work.
The apostle Paul definitely changed the world, and he did it because he understood the urgency of what he was doing and was determined not to let easily offended people hold him back.
That urgency is no less important today.
This article originally appeared on PhilCooke.com and is reposted here by permission.
