Lessons From Two Sisters

In Luke 10:38-42, we meet two sisters (Martha and Mary) who open up their house to several traveling strangers, and amongst their leadership is Jesus. As Jesus comes in, Martha busily begins to prepare the home for a meal and turn down beds, but her sister Mary stops what she is doing, sits at her neighbors’ feet, and listens to the stories told by the travelers. 

At this moment, these sisters diverge and teach us valuable lessons to reflect on.

Be intentional about your responsiveness. 

There is no doubt that Martha wanted to be a good host. Her actions belied that fact as she went about the house preparing for the company that she welcomed into her home. In an instant, Martha did what many would do: she focused on the need, but interestingly, her sister Mary focused on the guests’ wants. The household needed the guest to be fed and a place to sleep, while these travelers only desired to find a quick place to rest for the night out of the elements.

How often has your ministry focused on the need and missed the want? Countless times in my ministry, I have been so focused on doing that I missed the why behind it. I can see much of myself in Martha; maybe you can too. Martha missed the intentional meeting time with her guests because she was more focused on their needs than those in her living room. On the other hand, Mary knew the need; she probably heard the pots and pans banging around in the kitchen or even her sister mumbling under her breath about how she was not helping but entertaining the guests. Mary ignored the passions of her sister and provided her guests a place to put up their feet, wash up from a long journey, and then sit at their feet. 

Mary was intentional about responding to the wants of those she was engaging. As a ministry leader, sometimes you must slow down to see where God is leading. Martha moved, and Mary sat. One missed Jesus, and one encountered Jesus. Be intentional about your responsiveness and allow Jesus to guide your ministry.

Focus on interactions not on distractions.

The sisters certainly knew of Jesus and his teachings. In a way, they must have been excited to have him and his followers in their home. There is a tendency to focus on the work of ministry week in and week out and miss the opportunity to experience ministry in your heart. Martha was a diligent, Godly servant who had given all to serve the Lord. She was prepared to do rather than be served herself. She could have found a respite and renewal but focused on ministry work instead. Some could say, Bravo, she took the teachings and was living them out. But how many ministry leaders have fallen from grace because they were so busy serving that they became spiritually empty? 

On the other hand, Mary focused on interactions at that moment and not the distractions from what needed to be done right then. She was present in the conversation and allowed the situation to unfold organically. She limited the distractions of her sister and focused on the one who came to visit. What an example of surrendering it all to be with Jesus. When you look at the worship folder each week, what do you see? Programs, interactions, and opportunities to serve? But, sometimes, the programs and interactions overwhelm the serving opportunities and become burdensome. The ministry work burdened Martha, while Mary saw the chance to be with Jesus. So, too, in your ministry, you can be so focused on serving that you miss the interactions God has placed right in front of you. 

Refrain from allowing the distractions of ministry to overwhelm your sense of servanthood by sometimes being served by others. Allow God to speak to you by pausing, waiting, praying, and listening to what God has for you. Your ministry will be better for it.

Build interpersonal relationships with others outside of church. 

There is a tendency in the church to focus on what is before you, the worship folder that needs folding, the bathrooms that need cleaning, or the class that requires a teacher, and you miss the relationships that are waiting to be connected because you get trapped into the cycle of doing, and not the process of seeing. Martha was so trapped in doing the work that she missed seeing Jesus right before her. She is not alone. If you are the average church leader, you have felt that cycle and can look back and see where you were so busy that you missed your blessing. 

I am more convinced than ever that the church’s work is outside than inside of it. The world is steadily going to hell, and the church is not even pulling the fire alarm to let the world know there is a fire. We must do a better job. Mary not only heard but saw the teachings of Jesus up close and personal, and she was determined to focus on the relationship rather than the results of her sister huffing and puffing around the house. She identified not with her sister at that moment but with Jesus. She sought his interest, listened to his stories, and sought to communicate with him through sitting rather than doing. 

As a leader, you must permit yourself to leave your office to build relationships. Allow time in your weekly schedule to interact and learn from others. If you serve bi-vocationally, find ways to develop relationships with non-church friends. Be a Mary in their lives. Sit down and listen to their life story, and then share how Jesus has helped you.

Sally Susman, the Chief Corporate Affairs Officer of Pfizer, said in an interview with Thrive Global, “A pause is not a period. It’s a comma. A breath. A moment filled with so much opportunity to make the right decision.” If we can learn anything from the story of these two sisters, it is to pause and reflect on how one can do ministry better. Sometimes, you become busy doing church, but you should not stay so busy that you miss Jesus working. Focus on what is happening before you, and take advantage of the lessons being taught and grow from them.

If you are in a Martha situation right now, there is still time to evaluate and move towards a Mary posture of sitting at Jesus’ feet. The good thing is Jesus is still in the house if you will take notice.

Desmond Barrett
Desmond Barrett
Desmond Barrett is the lead pastor at Winter Haven First Church of the Nazarene in Winter Haven, Florida. He is the author of several books, most recently, Helping the Small Church Win Guests: Preparing To Increase Attendance (Wipf & Stock Publications) and has done extensive research in the area of church revitalization and serves as church revitalizer, consultant, coach, podcast host and mentor to revitalizing pastors and churches.