I recently encountered an article where a professional reflected on the insights he wished he had received at the start of his career. Aging often provides the clarity needed to identify what we wish we had known in our youth, which inspired me to consider my own journey. To provide guidance for those following a similar path, here are five essential truths I wish someone had shared with me earlier.
When I First Became a Pastor:
1. Discernment is vital because not everyone is trustworthy. Unsafe individuals frequently seek your confidence, and it is easy to grant it too quickly. Maintaining healthy boundaries and exercising caution is perhaps the most crucial advice before becoming a pastor.
2. You cannot please everyone, and attempting to do so is futile. Generally, 10% of people will support you, 10% will not, and the remaining 80% are still forming an opinion. Be grateful for your supporters, accept that you cannot change your critics, and focus your energy on engaging the majority. These are vital lessons from decades in ministry.
3. Don’t mimic popular speakers. Learn from them, listen to them, but find your own voice—and trust it.
4. You won’t grow as fast as you hope you will. Instead, think of the acorn turning into an oak; meaning, don’t overestimate what you can do in one year, but don’t underestimate what you can do in 10. Or even better, 40. And remember, size doesn’t matter as much as influence.
5. The people you start with may not be the people you finish with. Sad, but true—and yes, painful.
When I First Got Married:
1. A friendship started this; a friendship will see it through.
2. Honor her father and respect her family of origin. One day you will be that father, and yours will be that family of origin.
3. Savor every memory; you’ll never share them with anyone else.
4. Your spouse will change, grow, mature, become more confident and more self-assured. Don’t fear it—welcome it. It’s just that much more to honor, respect and love.
5. She will almost always be right. Listen.
When I First Had Children:
1. You’ve decided to prioritize family over career and you wonder if it’s worth it. It is.
2. It seems like you will be this family forever—parents and kids, together in the home—but you won’t. It will go by so fast. Drink this season in.
3. You will never have a more important role than being a father to your children. It will mark them for life and will be your true legacy … extending into the church, where you will one day understand that you serve, ultimately, as a father.
4. You will one day give your daughters to another man—it will be the hardest day of your life. But you will ordain your sons to the role of husband and father—it will be the proudest day of your life.
5. You have a vision for your family, but just wait … grandparenting is the BEST.
Bonus: Don’t buy bikes for Christmas and wait to assemble them on Christmas Eve. Really. No, really. Basketball stands, too. Actually, never, ever buy anything that has “some assembly required” written on it. Until you are a grandparent.
When I First Started to Earn Money:
1. Avoid debt.
2. Start saving.
3. Avoid debt.
4. Start saving.
5. Really.
When I First Became a Christian:
1. The closest thing to normalcy is going to be three steps forward, two steps back.
2. Who you are in Christ is who you are, not who someone else is. Don’t try to emulate another’s calling or gifts, personality or temperament. Just let God form you into his dream for you.
3. God is very, very fond of you.
4. Your sin is real, it’s serious … but remember that grace is not just for others; it’s also for you. It’s not something you just teach about, it’s something you can—yourself—receive.
5. Prayer really, really, really, really matters.
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This article originally appeared on ChurchAndCulture.org and is reposted here by permission.