The media loves a good scandal, and it seems like pastors are a favorite target. Don’t get me wrong, many of the pastors who end up the subject of criticism have behaved in ways that invite public scrutiny and even judgment. This article is not a defense of pastors and church leaders who have crossed moral, emotional or financial lines. It is a heartfelt plea for all people in church leadership to realize that our witness and the witness of the church can be greatly compromised when we don’t tend to our own souls.
An Examined Life
Almost two decades ago I was invited to write a book in a new series that was being developed in partnership with Zondervan and Leadership Network. The books would be practical, theologically rooted and filled with fresh ideas. I initially turned down the invitation. I felt that I had nothing new to add to the leadership conversation and the massive library of books that were already published.
Then something tragic happened: Three pastors that I respected blew up their lives and ministries. Two were close personal friends who I would have never thought would dive deep into secret sin. The other was a national pastor who was well-known and respected. He also had a secret life that bubbled to the surface, compromised his witness and drowned his ministry.
When these three tragedies hit, I realized that any and every church leader is vulnerable, and that the enemy of our souls is always on the hunt for any way he can destroy the witness of a church leader. I had to admit that I could fall into soul-compromising, ministry-devastating, family-destroying sin if I was not very careful.
So, I went back to the folks who had asked me to write a leadership book, and asked if I could focus on the inner life of a church leader. I proposed that I not write about leadership styles, techniques or outer practices. Instead, I asked if I could write a book titled Leadership From the Inside Out: Examining the Inner Life of a Healthy Church Leader. I would base it on Psalm 139, where King David (someone who knew a few things about secret sin and the consequences that follow) cries out, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Ps. 139:23–24).
I have used the content of this book to mentor many leaders over the past 19 years. My prayer is that you will choose to live an examined life so that your ministry will thrive for a lifetime.
What follows are some ideas to get you thinking about how you can follow David’s wise invitation to live an examined life:
1. Examine your heart on a regular basis (Mark 12:30–31).
Answer, with consistent honesty, these three questions:
• Am I deeply in love with God?
• Do I love the local church (God’s people)?
• Do I love the world—lost and wandering sheep—with the love of Jesus?
If you can’t say yes to these three foundational questions, you might be heading for a fall that could cost you your witness, your ministry and far more. Leaders need to do a heart check and be sure that what drives them is love above all else.
Nurture your love for the God who made you. Care deeply for the believers God has placed in your life. Grow a heart like Jesus that weeps for those who wander like sheep without a shepherd. I encourage you to pause right now and pray for your own heart. Ask God to grow your love in each of these areas.
2. Guard your tongue (Prov. 12:18–19).
We carry the potential to devastate people and bring shame to Jesus’ name. In a polarized world where words fly like missiles, followers of Jesus in general, and church leaders in particular, need to be very careful. What we say in a sermon, a Bible study, to a friend, and what we post on social media all have the potential to reflect poorly on the Savior we say we represent in this world. Weigh your words and take care before you click “send.”
The Scriptures are emphatic that our words not only have the power of death, but they can also breathe life into others. We strengthen our witness when we are quick to bless, encourage and speak well of others. Take time this week to root out those places where you are prone to speak harshly, and intentionally seek to build people up with your words.
3. Control your libido (1 Cor. 6:18–20).
All three of the pastors who crashed their ministry and compromised their witness to the gospel almost two decades ago did so in this part of their lives—hidden sexual sin. Leaders who want to serve well for a lifetime must acknowledge that temptation comes to all of us. We need to set boundaries, search our hearts regularly and repent quickly and early in the temptation process.
I once heard a leader say, “The best time to stop an affair is when you are getting dressed one day and you are thinking about what someone besides your spouse will think about how you look.” The point is, don’t wait until you have been meeting at a hotel for a month. Stop before you start. Identify the enticement when it is small and you have not acted on it. Confess then. Get a friend and/or your spouse to keep you accountable. Take time to surrender this part of your life to the God who made you, with all your drives and desires. He understands and can give power to honor him in this part of your life.
4. Watch your workload (Matt. 11:28–30).
One of the most dangerous things leaders do is drive themselves to exhaustion. When this happens, the Enemy is quick to dangle all kinds of temptations in front of us.
Our God knows what we can handle and the yoke he places on us fits well. We will not be crushed under the weight of what Jesus places on us and calls us to do. If we constantly feel fatigued, it is not Jesus who has placed this burden on us but other people, or we are doing it to ourselves.
5. Know how to rest and Sabbath well.
Church leaders can play, laugh and find delight in serving God and others. They can shut their phone off because they know that God rules the universe, and he is big enough to take care of the church and people when we are seeking refreshment.
Do you run with your tank on empty and your battery light blinking? If so, search your heart and talk to the God who commanded you to Sabbath every week. He wants to empower you to serve him for a lifetime. He wants your light to shine bright and your witness to be strong.