Vulnerability is a double-edged sword. While many appreciate the honesty of leaders who reveal their personal struggles, oversharing anxieties can inadvertently disrupt a congregation with unnecessary angst. Finding the right balance is essential for healthy leadership.
Jesus modeled vulnerability through the incarnation, demonstrating that God chose to enter our human experience. From needing His mother, Mary, to care for His basic needs to learning to speak and walk, His life shows that vulnerability is not a weakness to avoid. Since God was intentionally vulnerable, pastors should be as well, embracing vulnerability as a path to community to foster deeper connections.
Achieving this balance requires wisdom and intentionality. By sharing authentically while supporting the vulnerable as ministry, leaders can cultivate a culture of trust without compromising the stability of their church.
Share with strategy, not just emotion. When emotions lead, you are less likely to consider the impact on those receiving your feelings. It’s hard to be thoughtful when you unload on others to release your own burdens. Every person needs friends who can help lighten the load of a heavy season. But you should not use your position as a pastor or church leader to trap people into hearing about your problems.
Consider who needs to hear your problem. Get in the pulpit and scream, “I just can’t take it anymore!” Or meet with a close confidant and make the same emotional outburst. There is a big difference between dumping emotion on the entire congregation and venting with a friend or accountability partner. Different audiences require different strategies when expressing deep emotions.
The larger the audience, the more careful you should be. For example, I can be more intimate with my staff in our Tuesday meetings than with the congregation during Sunday morning worship. When pastors share publicly about an inner struggle, an entire room can illuminate with inspiration. Or quickly deflate in awkwardness. Often, the difference is one of the size and make-up of the audience.
Include optimism with your authenticity. When giving declines precipitously, church leadership should address the issue. “We’re in a tough spot financially” is the correct message, but it’s incomplete. Authenticity with optimism adds, “Here is the way I believe God will help us through this season.”
Use weakness to connect rather than to draw sympathy. Showing your weakness increases your ability to connect with others. Jesus is the supreme example. The humanity of Christ was necessary for Him to sympathize with us. The point of the incarnation was not so Jesus could draw sympathy from us but rather so He could connect to us. Vulnerability can be used for either selfless or selfish reasons. Pastors and church leaders should express weakness to serve others rather than trying to garner sympathy.
Give details only when they are helpful. The more details you give, the more dramatic the issue becomes. On the rare occasion I preach while sick, I will let the church know I’m not feeling well. It’s a small gesture of vulnerability. But I don’t spend several minutes describing my symptoms lest everyone thinks I’m dying.
Pastors and church leaders should always be honest. Sometimes vulnerability is a key part of being honest. But don’t share too much. And don’t share with the wrong group. A misguided vulnerability will add too much anxiety into the church culture and has the potential to destabilize the congregation. You can be vulnerable without freaking out your church.
This article originally appeared on ChuchAnswers.com and is reposted here by permission.