Excerpted From
Rethink Your Self
By Trevin Wax
The desire for a spiritual dimension—something transcendent that contributes to wholeness and wellness—remains strong for many today. Surveys indicate that even those who do not believe in God occasionally find themselves praying, while those with no religious affiliation often adopt rituals from various traditions to seek a deeper connection to the world. However, when individuals turn to spirituality for personal fulfillment, they often maintain a “looking in” approach. This perspective prioritizes self-discovery and personal desires above all else, meaning that “looking up” becomes a secondary priority used primarily to find a higher power that validates one’s own personal journey.
When the perceived purpose of life is to express your deepest self to the world, significant relationships are often recast through the lens of self-fulfillment. In this framework, marriage is viewed as finding a “soul mate” who completes your happiness, and friendships are maintained based on their ability to offer personal benefits. Religion then becomes a spiritual dimension added to a life you have already defined. Faith communities are viewed much like a consumer sees a gym: they exist to provide services and feelings that are only relevant as long as they enhance your chosen lifestyle.
This approach highlights a significant spirituality critique, suggesting that while outward religious practices may be adopted, the core motivation remains self-centered. This shift in priority can lead to institutional challenges, as seen in recent discussions regarding why some churches decided not to reopen their buildings. When the relevance of physical gathering spaces is questioned, it often reflects a broader trend of evolving spiritual needs that prioritize individual experience over communal commitment.
Some people have claimed that the “look in” approach to life leads away from religion. I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. Plenty of people still want to look up, even if it comes last in terms of priority.
The end result of the “look in” approach to life isn’t the emptying of churches, but the filling of churches with people who believe they need spiritual assistance in being true to themselves. Religious practices don’t disappear; they morph into something adaptable and helpful.
Religion becomes less about shared beliefs and values and more about uniting people who all embrace faith on their own terms. The idea of a faith based on something real, enduring, objective, and true (for everyone, not just yourself) doesn’t make much sense in this kind of world. Faith becomes a subjective thing, a feeling that serves as an aid in your pursuit of self-expression and self-fulfillment.
The “look in” approach to life still maintains a place for “looking up to God,” but what you’re looking for is divine affirmation and assistance in your life as you’ve determined it. You’re looking for inspiration intended to lift you up and restore your sense of self so you can continue down the path you’ve chosen. If you belong to a church, your inspiration will come from biblical sources—words of encouragement or exhortation, or psalms of lament or prophecies of restoration. But divorced from their historical setting or divested of their biblical context, even biblical words no longer have the power to truly challenge you about the path you may be on. They are marshaled in support of the path you’ve already chosen.
In other words, church attendance, devotional books, religious practices—all of these become ways of helping you along in the life you envision for yourself (a life of seeking to find and express who you are), rather than powerful words that might radically reorient and shift your self-understanding. We can “mount up on wings like eagles,” “run and not grow weary,” “be strong and courageous,” and find joy in “God’s plans to prosper us” as we walk life’s road. These words and images are drawn from the Bible, but they’ve been reduced to inspiration and shorn of any sharp edge of challenge. So yes, we look up, but only as long as our fundamental sense of self-definition and self-display go unchallenged.
But is this what it means to really look up? In the past, religion played a very different role. It didn’t mean “pick and choose whichever religion you think will help you live your life as you define it.” Even now, for most religious people in the world (outside of our society), it still doesn’t mean that. It’s no wonder that devout Christians or Muslims or Hindus or Jews—those who believe their religious faith says something true about the world, regardless of how “helpful” it is—protest the appropriation of certain religious practices without any kind of serious commitment. It’s like trying to enjoy all the benefits of a religious identity without adopting the authentic version, because the authentic version would challenge you.
It may feel authentic to “look up” in this way, but in doing so, you choose personal authenticity over an authentic religious tradition. The self takes center stage. Even God must get in line.
If you really want to be authentic, be honest with yourself. If you have a spiritual investment, what is it there for? Why is your faith important? Is it because faith feels good and it helps make you a better person? Or is it because it’s true and real? Is it because it provides a community and social base for you? Or is it because you truly believe in its source and authority over your life? If you pride yourself in being someone who looks up to God for direction, make sure it’s not just as a subset of your “looking in”, where your faith is there for you, but you’re not there for your faith.
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Excerpted from Rethink Your Self by Trevin Wax. Used by permission of B&H Publishing. Copyright 2020 by Trevin Wax.