Here are steps for training yourself to bounce back more quickly from difficulties and disappointments.
In a previous post I suggested five indicators that point to leaders who quickly bounce back from adversity, setbacks and disappointment. I used the phrase “resilient leaders” to describe them.
Since every leader will face difficulty, what can we do to become more resilient? Consider these practical steps you can apply in your life and leadership to “bounce back” more quickly.
1. Accept that fact that you will face setbacks. While not constantly looking over your shoulder, remind yourself that with leadership comes challenge and hardship. So when difficulties do come, you won’t be blindsided by them. Welcome them as a teacher to help you learn more about yourself.
2. Develop the discipline of “metacognition.” Metacognition is a fancy term for “thinking about what you are thinking about.” Often when faced with a difficulty we get caught up in our negative self-talk, the thought stream in our minds that all is gloom and doom. However, by monitoring our thoughts we can catch this negativity before it overwhelms our thinking and emotions. Read more here about the Monday morning blues and metacognition.
3. Give yourself some extra TLC. Often when we face setbacks we drive ourselves even more to fix the problem. Certainly when a “dam” has broken, we must go into emergency mode and increase our efforts. Often, however, setbacks don’t require our immediate, extra attention. In many cases we actually need more emotional reserve and thinking clarity to wisely tackle the issue. These come only when we slow down, tend to our soul, and take care of our body. Extra time off and more rest might actually be your best choice. Remember, Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves.
4. Stay in community. When hurt, it’s easy to withdraw to lick out wounds. However, during those times we need safe friends with whom we can process our pain. In this post I describe what to look for in a safe friend.
5. Remember how emotional contagion works. Emotional contagion describes the process by which people “catch” our emotions, both good and bad. When your church or organization faces a setback, make sure your body language, tone of voice and words don’t send a defeatist message to your team. That can diminish team productivity and morale. While keeping authentic about your disappointment, communicate a hopeful, God-focused tone. They will catch the attitude you intentionally or unintentionally telegraph.
When you’ve faced a setback in your ministry, what has helped you bounce back more quickly?