You Can’t Lead All By Yourself

When Lily joined one of our wilderness expeditions, she had been feeling isolated in her faith for a long time. Raised in a community that prioritized performance over a personal relationship with God, she often felt lectured rather than led, with Scripture used as a tool for correction instead of a source of shared connection. Seeking clarity, Lily followed God’s leading to the wilderness to find a way to move forward.

One afternoon, while struggling to climb a rocky slope, Lily slipped and injured her leg. As she sat down to process her fear, a fellow student immediately sat with her, while another took her pack to carry it up the incline. For the first time, Lily was not facing a struggle alone; she was surrounded by a community that stepped in to help and encourage her. This moment—a true taste of belonging—transformed her life and served as a profound example of a community-driven discipleship model, illustrating how shared experiences foster deeper faith.

None of us are meant to travel our journey alone. This sentiment highlights the vital role of community in spiritual growth, moving beyond a solitary approach toward a collaborative mentoring triad for discipleship.

Foundationally, discipleship is a community endeavor. You cannot disciple yourself. Literally, it takes two people! We are meant to come alongside others, and we are meant to accept help and let others lead us. Interdependence is fundamental to the life of faith. When an ordinary person answers the call to the adventure of discipleship, they discover people who are on the same journey (friends, allies, mentors) and connect with them.

There are no solo heroes in the Kingdom of God.

Often, we think of disciplemaking as some form of school or ministry preparation, recalling Sunday school teachers, youth leaders, or pastors who have discipled us. But when we reflect, we can usually think of others who have shaped our understanding of God or who modeled what it means to be a Christian in practical ways. I think of the elderly woman across the street who hosted a half-day VBS at her house for the neighborhood kids when I was growing up. She would quiz me about Bible stories while I ate her chocolate chip cookies. Or there’s the friend of mine who worked at the post office and always thought of himself as a missionary in his workplace. He was known for bringing people joy.

God intended all of us to be disciplemakers. We don’t have to make it complicated.

Spiritual transformation is challenging, but it is not complex. There is a King and his Kingdom, and we are created to fellowship there as brothers and sisters. We are students, apprentices, and practitioners of the ways of Jesus. We are obedient to what God is saying, and we respond with faith. We do all this with the guidance and prompting of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:10; John 14:26; John 16:13). The process of transformation happens through learning and unlearning, relationship, and imitation, which is why we need others.

As disciplemakers, we walk in close relationship with those we disciple, but our relationship is not just a friendship. A guide can enjoy the company of those they are leading, but they must be more than friends. They also have to help equip others. As disciplemakers, we have a simple, God-given agenda—transformation. We hope, pray, contend, intercede, and intentionally guide the disciple to be more like Jesus. Formation, as evidenced by transformation, is the purpose of discipleship.

As a disciplemaker we must explore two questions:

  • How do formation and transformation happen in ourselves?
  • How can we encourage these things in others?
  •  

Relationships are the key to authentic discipleship.

No longer are we disconnected strangers living in different houses. Instead, we are connected sojourners on an epic expedition together. It makes all the difference in the world. People grow in their relationship with God by observing and learning from those around them—those who are further on in their journey. We are increasingly transformed by being together.

Jessie Cruickshank holds a M.Ed. from Harvard in Mind, Brain, and Education. She is an ordained minister and a nationally recognized expert in disciplemaking and the neuroscience of transformation. She has spent two decades applying neuroeducation research to discipleship, ministry training, experiential education, and organization development. Jessie is respected globally as a missiological thought-leader and a church and denominational consultant and is the founder of Who-ology. Jessie lives and adventures with her family in Colorado.

This article originally appeared on ChuchAnwers.com and is reposted here by permission.

Living and Leading Above the Warning Signs

We can’t lead well from last year’s spiritual fuel. We need a fresh touch from God today.

Campbellsburg Baptist Church: Mailed With Love

This Kentucky church included more of the older seniors, giving them a script, some stationery and stamps to personally write invitations to 10 people each.

A Personal Approach to Go and Make Disciples in 2026

Let’s face it: If our people who are believers can’t clearly articulate the basics of the gospel, we must be teaching them something else as more important.