Both extroverts and introverts have the capacity to lead effectively, just as both can struggle. While personality is only one component of leadership, it brings distinct intrinsic advantages and challenges. For instance, an extroverted pastor often excels at engaging a room, whereas an introverted pastor may find more success in one-on-one listening. This article explores how the specific weaknesses of an extroverted pastor can be transformed into strengths.
Because of their outgoing nature, extroverted pastors often receive the benefit of the doubt more readily than their introverted counterparts. While much has been written about how introverts can overcome their unique hurdles, the challenges facing extroverted leaders are less frequently discussed. Developing leadership through courage remains a vital key for every leader regardless of personality type.
As an extrovert, I have identified several painful shortcomings in my own leadership. While these struggles might be personal, many leaders likely relate to the difficulty of maintaining a balanced perspective. Cultivating humility as a leadership strength is a common and necessary pursuit for those in ministry.
- Extroverts can talk too much. I process my thoughts by talking to others. Nobody will wonder what I’m thinking because thinking and talking are synonymous for me. Many times, this trait works to my advantage. I can hold a conversation. But talking too much is annoying. Not listening is rude. I’m guilty.
- Extroverts can bounce too much. I love a room full of people. Bouncing from person to person and conversation to conversation is fun. I enjoy seeing people engage with each other, especially in the church! However, this tendency can come across as superficial, especially when someone needs me to focus deeply on their words.
- Extroverts can overshare opinions. I have lots of opinions, and I’m glad to share them. However, there is wisdom in restraint. I admire people who don’t feel the urge to share every opinion on every subject. Maybe one day I’ll be more like them.
- Extroverts can assume every group needs to be large. Every time a group gathers at the church, I want to invite everyone. Usually, this tendency is good. That is, unless the group is designed to be small or confidential. The “come on by” and “the more, the merrier” mentality is not always wise.
Part of being a better leader is practicing to be a better leader. So I’ve started some exercises to help temper my extroverted nature.
- Literally stop talking. I will challenge myself in my head, “Sam, stop talking. Now.” When I have the urge to say something, I’ll tell myself to wait another minute. Then another minute. Then maybe another minute. After I feel like I’m torturing myself, then it’s usually good to say something.
- When you feel the urge to move to another person in a crowded room, stay five more minutes in the current conversation. This tactic has helped me dive much deeper into conversations. Don’t look past people. Don’t interrupt their flow of thought with “yes” or “uh huh.” Simply look them in the eye and listen.
- Ask more questions instead of giving opinions. Short but rich questions allow the other person to expound their thoughts. Questions like “Why do you think that is?” or “How does that make you feel?” help open avenues to better conversations.
- Seek out the wisdom of introverts. Find the reserved sages in your church and spend a lot of one-on-one time with them. Don’t be afraid to sit in silence with them for extended periods. They will give you incredible insight when they speak.
Both extroverts and introverts have strengths and weaknesses built into their personalities. Extroverted pastors will have some natural struggles in shepherding their congregations. You can overcome many of these struggles with a few tactics and a little practice.
This article originally appeared on ChuchAnswers.com and is reposted here by permission.