Growing up, I took pride in my ability to navigate diverse social circles. I maintained a few close friendships while moving between various groups, each possessing a distinct vibe, personality, and set of interests. This versatility allowed me to connect with people from all walks of life, from athletes to musicians.
One evening might be spent with teammates, the next with friends in a band, and another with my youth group. While it is common to have friends with varied interests, I realized during my teenage and college years that I was struggling to define my identity within evangelical faith. I was adaptable, yet I lacked a firm sense of self within my own community.
This internal conflict is a frequent theme in the confessions of outreach leadership. Understanding how to navigate these varying social circles while maintaining a core identity is essential for anyone seeking a balanced and authentic life in ministry.
The scientific way of describing this is to say I had (and at times still have) a chameleon personality. Oftentimes I morphed into someone who I thought would fit into a specific group.
Looking back, I realize now that what was happening was much deeper. I not only struggled to find my identity at times, but I was also fearful that who I was wouldn’t be accepted. I feared not being “cool” enough, or funny enough, or entertaining enough.
I was trying to mask myself to blend in with my surroundings.
Now, I will say this—I never did fall into the trap that so many others do in their teenage years. I didn’t drink, party, smoke, or fall victim to many of the other cliché temptations. By all accounts, I was a “good” kid. But, partly because I didn’t participate in that stuff, along with a number of other factors, I often acted like other people or presented myself in a way that wasn’t always genuine.
I was putting on all sorts of armor to both protect and disguise myself.
As I’ve grown in my faith, I’ve grown to be more comfortable in the man God has made me to be and I’ve grown to be more confident in the abilities God has given me. And while I no longer envy others in the same way or feel the same sense of inadequacy I felt in my teenage years and early 20s, I still struggle with those emotions to some degree.
But, whereas before I would find fulfillment and acceptance through groups of friends or other outlets, I rest in the fact that my value is in Christ and the knowledge that he has uniquely crafted me to be the person I am.
There is no one else like me in the world, and there is no one else like you in the world.
Perhaps the best verse to demonstrate this is Psalms 139:14, which says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
I’m not trying to be cheesy, but it’s really quite remarkable when you think about it. We are inherently so hard on ourselves. We constantly critique ourselves—our weight, our body shape, our blemishes. We see someone else who we desire to look like and immediately lament not being able to look like them.
Every single person has things they’re insecure about. The person you wish you could be wishes they could be someone else.
But here’s the truth: None of us need to be anyone other than who God made us to be. Rather than being a chameleon that can shape shift into its surroundings, be yourself. Put down the armor.
This article originally appeared on ColeClaybourn.com and Thinke.org and is reposted here by permission.