As a pastor, I have heard far more “junk” than I care to admit. It is frustrating to watch how gossip begins in the church regarding other people’s problems. Often, the most painful repercussion of any sin is the rumors that circulate about those involved. This makes it incredibly difficult to restore a person when they are the subject of every private, behind-the-back conversation. Learning how to stop church gossip is crucial for maintaining a healthy congregation.
It is disheartening to see how gossip as a church illness spreads through a community. Beyond the immediate conflict, gossip always injures innocent people in the process. When a congregation focuses on hearsay rather than healing, it undermines the very mission of the ministry and creates a toxic environment that is difficult to reverse without intentional leadership.
Having been the victim of unfair rumors myself, I know the deep pain they cause. In my experience, gossip is never helpful to individuals or to the kingdom of God. It is something I have grown to hate because I have seen it destroy so many lives. Understanding gossip and betrayal dynamics is the first step toward protecting your flock from unnecessary division.
Gossip exaggerates every situation. It keeps the one who did wrong loaded with guilt and frustration and from experiencing the fullness of God’s grace.
(The Bible talks a great deal about this issue of gossip. Consider these passages: Prov. 11:13; 16:28; 20:19; 26:20; Rom. 1:29; 2 Cor. 12:20 and 1 Tim. 5:13.)
With this in mind, I’m listing seven suggestions for stopping, or at least slowing, the spread of gossip in the church.
Will you consider each and internalize them as needed?
In other words, if the shoe fits will you wear it?
Together, perhaps we can help stop the deadly spread of this harmful virus.
7 WAYS TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP
1. Don’t Repeat Something Unless You Know It to Be True Firsthand.
Secondhand knowledge is not enough to justify repeating something. You will get something wrong and it will hurt others. By the way, reading it on Facebook does not make it true.
2. Don’t Repeat Unless It Is Helpful to Do So, You Have a Vested Interest and Permission.
Never share another person’s story unless you have permission to share or what your sharing is equally your story as to the other person’s. It is almost always gossip if anything is shared otherwise.
3. Don’t “Confess” Other People’s Sins.
Unless you are in physical danger, share your sins, but not someone else’s. And doing so in the name of a prayer request is not a good excuse.
4. If You Must Tell, and Have Passed the Test on the First Three Suggestions, Tell Only What Happened.
Do not share your commentary on the situation or your “I think this is probably what happened” or why you think it happened. Just the facts—as you know them to be true.
5. Choose to Pray for Others Every Time You Are Tempted to Tell Their Story.
Instead of telling their story—instead of spreading gossip—pray for them and your willpower not to share anything you shouldn’t.
6. When Someone Tells You Something You Don’t Need to Know, Don’t Allow Curiosity to Be Your Guide.
Stop the person and tell them you don’t want to know. Remember, if they will spread gossip about others they will spread it about you.
7. Keep the Circle of Confession Limited to the People Involved or to No More Than Needed for Accountability Purposes.
Even when it is your story you usually don’t have to tell the world. The wider the circle and the more the story is repeated the more likely things will turn into gossip—and, the more people who will be injured.
If my tone seems intent about the issue, it’s because I am. I have little patience for gossips. My desire is to see people live in healthy community together. Gossip is a betrayer of this becoming reality.
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This article originally appeared on RonEdmondson.com and is reposted here by permission.