Mindy Caliguire: From Striving to Abiding

Doctors didn’t know if Caliguire would be able to care for her newborn, and she didn’t know if things would ever get better. She had a lot of hard conversations with God, wondering why he was taking her off the front lines and keeping her from pursuing the mission. Through this trial she gently sensed God saying, “Hey, how about that verse you’ve asked all three of your small groups to memorize? John 15:5: ‘If you’ll remain in me, you’ll bear much fruit, but apart from me, you can do nothing.’ What part of nothing don’t you understand?” It was through this epiphany that Caliguire started to exchange her misplaced passion for personal achievement with the power and simplicity of abiding in Christ.

Caliguire eventually recovered her health, but the way she approaches ministry today is radically different.

 How did your perspective shift after your experience with extreme burnout?

I refused to live any longer in a way that was killing me. I needed to find a way of life and leadership that was about freedom and joy and living water. I couldn’t live in a vacuum any longer. It doesn’t work in physics, and it doesn’t work in a spiritual life, yet that’s what we keep doing. I felt like a dishrag that had been squeezed and squeezed and squeezed, and there was just nothing else left to give. Something about how we think of ourselves as leaders gets messed up in this, because we pray, “God use me,” but we don’t like people who only use other people. You wouldn’t do well in your marriage if you kept saying, “Use me today, honey. Use me.” Something is very utilitarian in that, something very inanimate, not living, not alive. I didn’t want to be used anymore. I came out of that season saying, “I think this has to do with my soul, whatever that is. I think my soul is not well, and I think I need to find a way of life that allows me to stay connected to God meaningfully.” 

Was that your first introduction to spiritual formation? 

Yes. In the end, I came to realize there was a whole history in the church around these things, but I very much stumbled into them. One other source through that time was the women in my small groups who were deep in recovery. They knew how to depend on grace. I knew how to define it. I knew how to defend it biblically. Even now, I look back on some of those definitions, and I wonder. They knew how to depend on grace the way a SCUBA diver depends on oxygen. They had utter clarity on how, moment by moment, they were dependent on God as their source of life. The more reckless they were in admitting they were struggling, the healthier they were. I thought, That’s what we need. We need a way of life that keeps us connected to grace, that keeps us dependent in all the right ways. Only years later did I find out this was what they call spiritual formation.           

Your experience with Willow Creek came full circle, and you eventually came back as ministry transformation director. How did that time shape your journey?

When I think of what was my “seminary degree,” I feel like it was sitting under John Ortberg’s teaching. What I loved about my work at Willow was the opportunity to think more strategically about soul care or systems that help people grow. That was very interesting to me. We had some objectives, some desires, and John phrased it in such a clever way in saying that the goal would be to get people to experience spiritual formation without ever needing to know that’s what they were doing.

Often, I think some pockets of the spiritual formation conversation end up being about special language, special definitions, certain authors you have to read, or ancient authors, all of which is wonderful and helpful but is not the essence. The essence is life connected with God, and whatever contributes to that. We want to be intentional, but we want to create environments that reinforce the right thinking about that life. The point isn’t any of the things that point to the life; the point is the life. 

James P. Long
James P. Longhttp://JamesPLong.com

James P. Long is the editor of Outreach magazine and is the author of a number of books, including Why Is God Silent When We Need Him the Most?

Keep Calm and Minister

Can you pass the "Timothy Test?"

4 Ways God’s Spirit Leads His People

We don't always have the full picture, but discerning how God is leading you is not unclear.

Fit for the Kingdom

The Lord prompted Reardon to think about combining Christian fellowship with fitness in order to create a new small group for men.