Answering the Question Behind the Questions People Ask You

You’re familiar with the common scenario where someone half-jokingly asks for advice for a “friend.” Everyone knows the “friend” is actually the person asking the question.

Well, that scenario happens in leadership all the time.

I call it: the question behind the question. The question behind the question may be the more important question.

Sometimes it’s just a simple question and nothing is hidden in it. But sometimes, whether because of fear, insecurity or intimidation, people are hesitant to share what’s really on their mind. They ask questions or make statements which are really innuendos of a bigger issue.

Let me give you a simple example.

Someone on your team asks, “Are we going to evaluate our response to the pandemic?” That’s a fair question. With all we’ve been doing, we should evaluate our effectiveness.

You could simply say “yes” or a “no” and the question is answered. But there’s likely a bigger question behind that question. Someone has some input or feedback, maybe even a critique, they want to share which prompted them to ask the question.

And that’s what you really want or need to know.

The fact that the “real” question doesn’t get asked may not be the leader’s fault, but good leaders look beyond what’s being verbalized. They attempt to discern the motive and intent of the question or statement someone makes.

Good leaders ask follow-up questions to make sure they understand the question being asked—and ultimately the concern being expressed.

When someone is asking a leader a question, that leader needs to consider if the question is the real question or if a disguised bigger question exists.

They need to ultimately get to the unspoken questions.

In fact, the health of the organization may depend on uncovering what is not being communicated. Next time someone asks you a question, consider whether there is a question behind the question.

It could make all the difference.

Read more from Ron Edmondson »

This article originally appeared on RonEdmondson.com and is reposted here by permission.

Ron Edmondson
Ron Edmondsonhttp://ronedmondson.com

Ron Edmondson is the pastor of Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky. He revitalized two churches and planted two more.

The Timeless Whisper’s Been Here All Along

To a world on edge, defensive, and hurting, Christians have a responsibility to not only listen to God but also to speak Good News in a way that can actually be heard.

How to Leverage Existing Ministries for Outreach

“You could launch new outreach ministries without removing any existing ministries, increasing your budget or adding staff.”

Doing Unto Others

Davis maintains that ministry shouldn’t be about serving at church on a Sunday morning, because those people are already saved. Instead, it should be about doing ministry on the mission field and talking to people who are unchurched.