DOES ‘BALANCE’ LEAD TO BURNOUT?
First, let me just dive in and talk about what I think are some of the misconceptions about burnout. Some of the reasons why we get burned out to begin with are because we misunderstand certain things about life. Certain things are culturally popular. We read books about them and so we assume that that must be the problem.
For example, I think there’s a false emphasis today on balance. We talk a lot about the word balance and how you need a balanced life. Don’t be a workaholic, be more balanced.
And the problem with balance is that sometimes we misunderstand what healthy balance looks like. Healthy balance, I think, is when you look at your life as who you are. You are physical, so you have a body. You are mental, you have a mind. You are emotional, you have a heart. You are volitional, you have a will, you have relationships.
So if you want to grow in a balanced way, that’s fantastic. I want to grow personally, I want to grow spiritually, I want to grow relationally, I want to be healthy physically, etc. That is a good kind of balance to seek after.
But what we do with balance a lot of times is to look at all the different areas of our lives decide that we need to give adequate amounts of time and attention to each area of life equally.
In a given week, I might work 40 or 50 hours because I need to do well for my boss. I need to do good on this job. I’ve got to do good in my business.
And then I’ve also got a marriage to maintain, so I got to give plenty of energy there.
I need to give some time and some energy to managing my finances well. So let me focus on that for a bit.
I’ve got kids, so I need to give some time and some energy to my kids.
I’ve got the school or the nonprofit or the charity that I volunteer with. Maybe the board I serve on, so I give them some time and some energy. And what we wind up doing is treating life like a pizza. We try to give a slice to everything that’s grabbing for attention.
We try to give a slice to all of the different areas. And the reason why that leads to burnout is, there’s not really an emphasis on how much I have to give. There’s just a constant demand and pressure to give more to everything and everybody. And I’ve only got so much energy to give.
RHYTHM—A BETTER WAY
So what do you do with that then? How do you give to all those things in a way that’s healthy, that makes sense, but doesn’t keep you burning out?
I believe we need to shift our emphasis from balance to rhythm. In fact, I did a whole 45 minute teaching session on this in The Digital Leadership Lab.
Basically, instead of dividing my life out into pieces and giving a piece to all these different things, I need to respect the rhythm of life.
I need to know that there are going to be weeks and moments when I’m really busy with my kids’ stuff. My kids might have a couple of programs this week at school, some sports things, some different things going on and therefore I’m not going to be able to give as much to my job, or to maybe managing my house or my finances that week.
In my rhythm that there are moments to take breaks.
Pastor Rick Warren always says we need to divert daily, withdraw weekly and abandon annually. That is, take some time every day, take a day off every week, take a week out of your year or two weeks out of your year and go on vacation. That’s all part of the rhythm of life.
Working hard is part of the rhythm of life. Being really close to my family and friends is part of my rhythm in life. Instead of trying to divide myself between all these different areas, I need to find the rhythm.