I took to social media to gather some really funny things pastors wish they hadn’t said while preaching. Most preachers have a great sense of humor, even if it’s self-deprecating humor.
The following 20 are included in no particular order. I ended up leaving out some very funny faux pas, but I decided to keep it relatively clean with a PG rating.
1. “God loves a cheerful liver.”
2. “We must guard against that four-letter word called pride.”
3. While preaching on John 3 where Jesus talks about the wind blowing: “You can’t break wind.”
4. The word was supposed to be “deprecating,” but the pastor told them they needed to be “self-defecating.”
5. Speaking about making too many excuses, the pastor told the congregation he had “a big but that always gets in the way.”
6. In a child dedication service, the pastor said, “the history of child sacrifice goes back many centuries.”
7. It was supposed to be “hearts”: “Father, you know our farts.”
8. Preaching in a nursing home, the pastor told the residents, “God, I want you to bless each person here at this funeral home.”
9. It was supposed to be “enemies”: “God has given you power over all your enemas.”
10. “Mary washed her hair with Jesus’ feet.”
11. Two men named “Loose” had expectant wives: So the pastor said, “Please pray for these Loose women.”
12. The pastor was talking about how potters would fill impure pottery with wax to hide imperfections: “The problem with many believers is we have wax in our cracks.”
13. Christmas message speaking about how beautiful the Christmas tree is in his home: “I love sitting in the living room with nothing on but the Christmas tree.”
14. Speaking at a wedding: “Marriage should be endured, not enjoyed.”
15. The preacher meant to say “inflatables” during the announcements: “Please consider donating your blow-up dolls for our church’s Christmas outreach.”
16. He meant to say “biopsy”: “Please pray for Mrs. Jones who recently went in for an autopsy.”
17. The pastor meant to say Jesus will wipe away the tears from our faces. “Jesus will wipe away our faces.”
18. So much for fruit of the womb: “Behold, children are a blessing from the Lord, the fruit of the loom is a reward.”
19. Instead of “Jesus eats with sinners,” the pastor said, “Jesus eats sinners.”
20. The senior adult group in the church is called The Triple L Club (Live, Love, Laugh), but the pastor referred to them as “The Triple X Club.”
One pastor refrained from repeating the joke he told in church about his mother-in-law. He said he already had to sleep on the couch once.
This article originally appeared on ChurchAnswers.com and is reposted here by permission.