5 Warning Signs of Abusive Church Leaders Every Pastor Should Know

There is a difference between a predator and a wolf. A predator may come from anywhere. But the Bible gives a special warning about wolves—namely, church leaders who look the part but are dangerous. Matthew records this warning from Jesus: “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act” (Matt. 7:15–16).

Wolves are inclined to do as much damage to the church as possible. The carnage may come in the form of false teaching or bad doctrine. But it can also take the form of abuse. Wolves are “disguised as harmless” and often go undetected. How can you recognize them? Look for the fruit—watch the way they act. Do they exhibit entitlement, superiority, duplicity, justification and manipulation?

Understanding the Root of Abusive Behavior

Abuse originates in how victimizers view others. At some level they believe other people exist to fulfill their desires. People who take advantage of others place themselves at the center and try to control the orbits of vulnerable people around them. Victimizers are not necessarily brash or overpowering. They may be sensitive, subdued and even charming. Many abusers have likable personalities. So what are some warning signs to watch for?

Warning Sign #1: Entitlement

When abusers fail to get someone’s attention, they will penalize the other person through aggressive tactics such as yelling, name-calling, throwing objects or worse. They believe their time is more valuable than someone else’s. This mindset creates agitation when they don’t receive the time and attention they desire or think they deserve.

Warning Sign #2: Superiority

Abusers believe their feelings and opinions are more important than someone else’s. And may manipulate, coerce or demand others to see things the same way. You rarely hear abusers admit to being wrong, and they offer insincere apologies, if any at all. It’s always “I’m sorry, but … I’m sorry if … I’m sorry, however …” Such statements aren’t apologies; they are posturing to assert superiority over someone else.

Warning Sign #3: Duplicity

When abusers have formal authority, they create rules for their subordinates but not themselves. They enforce standards on everyone else to make themselves feel superior. For example, a senior pastor might require a camera in everyone’s office but his own. Or he may mandate computer tracking software for other staff members but not himself.