It happens to most pastors: they wake up to a flurry of texts or emails with a common, unsettling message: "Pastor, you need to see what is being said about you on social media." Instantly, the day is derailed. Most leaders feel a compulsive need to read the critique, often resulting in a literal sense of nausea and distress.
However, this article focuses less on the pastors being targeted and more on the church members who witness these negative posts. How should a faithful congregant respond? While this list is not exhaustive, I suggest ten specific action items to guide your reaction. You can avoid common criticism responses by considering these suggestions, or explore a practical critique response framework for deeper insight.
1. Immediately begin praying for your pastor. Your leader is likely under spiritual attack. A godly person seeks reconciliation through biblical channels rather than airing grievances on public forums like Facebook. Recognize that in these moments of public division, the enemy is often at work.
2. Don’t assume any or all of the post is true. In fact, it is usually the opposite. But the venomous critics can sometimes use half-truths, innuendo, and false piety to sound convincing.
3. Most of the time it is best to ignore the post and move on. The more attention you give it, the longer the issue will remain open for argumentation, fighting, and more innuendos.
4. On occasion, you may need to write a word of defense and support for your pastor on social media. Critics hurt pastors. But those in the church who are too weak and fearful to stand up to bullying critics are sources of deeper pain.
5. Send your pastor a note of encouragement. It could be something brief like, “Don’t let Mike Smith bother you. We know you are a person of honor. We’ve got your back.”
6. If other church members contact you about the post, let them know that you support the pastor, and they should as well. It only takes one or two strong and supportive church members to bring the discussion to a needed ending.
7. Find a way to show support in a setting in the church. I am familiar with one church member who stood up in a prayer meeting and asked everyone there to support and pray for their pastor. That church member is still a hero to the pastor who was criticized.
8. On occasion, you might be the person who needs to confront the critic. There are no clear guidelines for who should confront a critic on social media, but you may sense your call to this task. Don’t take the confrontation to social media, though. Call or meet with the antagonist.
9. Find ways to encourage the pastor’s family. It’s not unusual for the pastor’s spouse and children to be aware of the attack. They hurt too. Communicate to them your love for both the pastor and them.
10. It might be best to block the critic on the social media account. Again, there are no clear rules for blocking a critic, but it would send a clear message if enough people blocked him or her.
So, what if the pastor is really in the wrong and the critic is right? Well, I know the critic is wrong in a big way for the way he or she vocalized the issue. Social media is not the place to address these issues.
I would love to hear your perspectives on this matter. What are some experiences you’ve had as the pastor who received criticism or the church member who read the criticism online?
This article originally appeared on ChurchAnswers.com and is reposted here by permission.